Tue, April 07

Marta Adelsman Column: Live full out!

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom (Anais Nin).” I read this quote recently, and it caught my attention in a big way. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about its implications.

The quote caused me to reflect on how we try to ensure that our lives remain “safe.” We don’t want to rock the boat – make people unhappy, draw attention to ourselves, stand out, be criticized, make headlines. We want to be nice, like good little girls (and boys).

Well, nice girls don’t change the world!

You remain tight in that bud because you aren’t aware that you are a blossom-in-waiting. Then one day you feel an inner stirring. You sense an existence beyond the bud. You get a whiff of the blossom you could become, if only you would relax, let go, and open.

For some of you, the pain to remain as a bud, with its unfulfilled potential, eventually becomes so unbearable – so stifling – that you feel compelled to take action. You intuitively know that, if you don’t, you will wither.

That action might look like changing jobs, or moving to a different part of the country, or ending a relationship that no longer serves. It could involve starting that business that has been pulling at you; taking the art class you’ve been putting off for years; or writing the book that lives inside you and wants you to birth it.

The courage you must summon to burst forth propels you into the hero’s/heroine’s journey. It involves dying to the known, the comfortable. It involves risk. It means becoming willing to trust your instincts and to take action that you have never taken before. It calls you to step into unknown water and uncharted territory. That courage demands that you hold your head high and face the potential arrows, criticism, misunderstanding, fear of failure, and fear of success that will inevitably attempt to block your path.

Pay attention to the stirrings inside you, no matter how faint. They are your life-blood, your connection to your true Self. Let their energy flow into you and through you to give you what it takes to make the changes that serve you.

The inner stirrings might call you to question everything. Do the elements of your life, the pieces that you have taken for granted, still fit for you? Have you allowed the shoulds, the rules from the past, and other peoples’ expectations to dictate your life? If they no longer fit, change them. If they do fit, embrace them more deeply. Embrace them as your own, and re-choose them with a new commitment.

Sculpt the existence that you want for yourself. Sometimes, life senses what you need and don’t need, and it wields its own sculpting knife. You lose a job, or your significant other walks out, or you lose your house. Anytime one element or form in your life disappears, it creates the space for a new one to emerge. While it can hurt to lose the old, when the new comes into being, it seems to fit so much better.

So allow yourself to rock the boat. Be who you really are. Let the bud open and blossom, because you deserve to live full out. You gift yourself and those around you when you do.

Dr. Marta practices as a Professional Mentor (also known as a Life Coach) in Communication and Consciousness. To contact her, call 928-451-9482 or write

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