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Sun, April 05

Resistance is Futile

Resistance creates suffering. Please don’t believe me, though, when I say this. After reading below, test the statement for yourself.

What do I mean by resistance? Anytime you set yourself in opposition to your present circumstances, situations, or conditions, you are in a state of resistance. It sounds like, “I don’t want this in my life!” You may experience levels of resistance all the way from a mild against-ness to a no-holds-barred fighting mode.

As I’ve observed in myself and others, you can strain against things like how someone behaves in your presence; how someone speaks to you; others’ opinions; others’ reactions to your opinions; the views of Republicans; the views of Democrats; your habits; your weight; depression or anxiety; illness and/or pain; someone’s death; your financial situation. You might even work hard to try to force people and situations to change.

How can you tell if resistance has taken over your attitude? You become irritated. You experience dissatisfaction. You feel anger, resentment, anxiety, impatience, depression or guilt. You hold attitudes of judgment and criticism. These all give you clues that resistance comes into play toward some aspect of your existence. And they are all forms of suffering.

We mistakenly think that resisting will get rid of the unpleasant circumstance, event, or situation. Society conspires to teach us that putting up our dukes shows strength. Actually, it reveals our fear and weakness. Such combat does not make the unwanted thing go away. In fact, it has the opposite effect. It keeps it in place. It also impedes the flow of creativity that could produce magical solutions.

Acceptance of what-is-so-now cures resistance. To move to a state of acceptance, you must first become conscious of when and under what conditions you go into resistance. As you observe yourself, you may be surprised at how often you catch yourself saying inwardly, “I hate this.”

Next, begin to drop the resistant attitudes and emotions. Accept whatever occurs. Allow it to be. Relax into the circumstance or feeling of the moment. Non-resistance and acceptance frees the energy in and around you. In that freedom, you draw to you solutions and creative ways to handle or change what doesn’t serve you.

When you relax and allow and accept, you will be amazed. Acceptance has a way of miraculously transforming circumstances. Either the situation changes on its own without your input and manipulation, or you feel inspired to take action toward resolution that you haven’t taken before. Alternatively, you may find that you have a new willingness to live in peace with things as they are.

Don’t believe a word I’ve said! Experiment on your own to see if any of what I write here rings true.

Dr. Marta practices as a Life Coach in Communication and Awareness in the Verde Valley. To contact her, write drmartacoach@gmail.com or call 928-451-9482.

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