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Wed, Nov. 13

Multi-Genre Essay: Sadness

Alexia Haney

Alexia Haney

Dear Happiness,

Where were you today? I needed your help. I've been more and more depressed lately. I feel like I'm worthless to my family, to my friends, and to this whole world. I'm living a life without a purpose, a life that's not for me anymore. I don't want to live a life where I am constantly trying to find myself and know who I really am. I've been smiling through my pain because you never came to my rescue. You stay hidden behind the demons that are drowning me. Please next time be brave and come help me!

Sadly,

Me 

Counseling: Friday, October 18

Counselor: So, how have you been today, Alice?

Alice: I’ve been doing good lately. How ‘bout you?

Alice’s Mind: I’ve been feeling sad like every other day. It’s nothing new.

Counselor: I’ve been doing great. Thanks for asking.

Alice: Yup, no problem.

Alice’s Mind: I just want to go home.

Counselor: So, your mother has informed me that you haven’t been eating lately, why is that?

Alice: I’ve been eating at school in the morning and afternoon, sometimes I’m still full once I get home for dinner or my mom just makes some kind of weird food that I don’t really like.

Alice’s Mind: Since when does my mom notice me? I don’t eat because i just don’t really feel like eating. Or when I eat I feel sick.

Counselor: Hmmm, well teens and children are very picky about what they eat nowadays. Well your mother also says that you’re behaving better and you seem more happy lately.

Alice: Yup I am a picky eater(nods). Oh. Yes. I have been doing my chores, listening to what i am told, and yes I have been happy lately. I’ve just been trying to be more positive and locate a positive attitude; an example for my younger cousins since they are looking up to me.

Alice’s Mind: I have to behave or Mom is gonna send me back to dad or send me to a military school. And I’m not really happy. I’ve just gotten better at hiding my pain, and showing more of a smile to everyone.

Counselor: Well it seems like everything is going well for you, doesn’t it? I’ll be seeing you again next Tuesday. Hope you have a good week! Til’ next time.

Alice: Okay. See ya! (Waves goodbye walking out of the room)

Alice’s Mind: Finally, I can go home and see my dog, Thor. He knows what I'm going through and I don’t have to answer so many questions. I can just sit and pet his soft white fur.

Wounded

Lost in my own head

Searching with an aching heart

Looking for myself 

.Are you okay parody (Ready-AJR)

Are you okay?

You're feeling Down, you're feeling lonely

Back of the Classroom, and they thinking you’re goofy

Teenage girl, really faking her smiles

Watch her smiling and laughing and playing these classmates

Catch her stare, little tears

Ask her if she’s okay and say there’s nothing to fear

Someday she’ll be fine, but still always be faking

Hiding behind a Do Not Disturb sign

She hopes everyone will forget her, and everyone has

Forgot her name

Teenage girl

She knows no one understands her

When everyone is living their happy lives

Can you see a lonely girl when she smiles ?

Are you ready for life?

No more Pretending?

Meeting Anxiety

Anxiety loves sitting on my shoulder during my English class. His ghostl-like figure flys and roams around me while I’m trying to prepare for my presentation. He wonders around my head, moving down to my stomach, twisting, and playfully punching me. Then he’ll make my legs bounce up and down. Anxiety knows that I’m really trying to impress everyone with my knowledge and writing skills. He knows that I’m scared to embarrass myself and have everyone laugh at me. Sometimes Confidence follow me around so we can show off together, but little do I know, Anxiety feeds on Confidence. My friend, Confidence is no match for my nemesis, Anxiety. 

Rules of being Depressed

rULE #1: Push everyone away

RULE #2: HIDE YOUR SADNESS BEHIND A SMILE

RULE # 3: POST DEPRESSING QUOTES ON SOCIAL MEDIA

RULE #4: LISTEN TO DEPRESSING MUSIC DURING HAPPY TIMES

RULE #5: DON’T EAT ANY HOLIDAY FOOD WHEN YOU'RE REALLY HUNGRY

RULE #6: SLEEP ALL DAY EVERY DAY

RULE #7: RARELY TAKE SHOWERS; LEAVE HAIR GREASY

RULE #8: REMEMBER, FAILING GRADES ARE OKAY

RULE #9: GIVE UP ALL FAVORITE SPORTS

RULE #10: REMINDER: YOU NEVER HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE

Morning Announcements

Lately have you felt that you’re without a purpose? Feeling lonely and depressed? Have you stopped being active and lost interest in your favorite sport? It may not be you feeling this way; maybe a friend is. See your counselor to sign-up for this newly-formed support group of teens who feel the same vibe. The group will have their first meeting after school in the Library from 3:30pm to 5:00pm this coming Thursday.

Today’s uplifting quote:

“Even the Darkest Night will end and the Sun will Rise”

-Victor Hugo author of Les Miserables (The Miserable) i.e.me

Key Depressed Pie ( serves 1)

Hiding Crust

1 ½ cups of Laughter

⅓ cup of smiles

6 cups of fake happiness

Real Fillings

Two 14 ounce cans of anxiety

4 ounces of a broken heart, broken in small pieces

¾ cups of loneliness

Terrible Cream Topping

1 cup of challenging parent-teen crap

¼ cup Fake Friends

½ teaspoon of Suicidal Thoughts

INSTRUCTIONS:

For the HIding Crust

Preheat oven to 420˙

Mix Laughter, Smiles, and Fake Happiness in Small Bowl.

Pour the crumbles of Fake Personality into a medium pan, and pat peer pressure firmly in, spreading the crumbles on the sides of the pan.

remove from oven and allow to pretend to be happy. Bake on schooldays only!

For the Real Filling

Break Heart into a mixing bowl and beat well with more back-stabbing people until more broken and sad.

Add both cans of anxiety and loneliness, beat till sadness becomes anger.

Pour filling into the hiding crust and bake in the preheated oven for another 10 minutes.

Allow the pie to smile and hide all the true feelings for 30 minutes, then let the anger chill for at least 3 hours.

For the Terrible Cream Topping

Pour horrific parent-teen relations into a mixing bowl and stir well with a dash of hope for daily arguments.

Slowly add fake friends and suicidal thoughts and continue mixing until peaks of self-hatred form.

Slather whipped cream generously on top of the Key Depressed Pie. Serve with hidden tears and smile secretly.

Everyone Else

You are so loud!

Why are you always laughing at everything?

I love your smile.

What's wrong with your parents?

How have you been?

Why do you have to be so rude?

Can’t you take a joke once in a while!

Stop playing with your food!

You always make everyone else happy.

Are you really okay?

ME

I’m just excited. Sorry

Because I thought that was funny.

Thank you so much.

They are just having financial issues.

I’ve been doing great lately.

Sorry. I thought i was being funny.

Ohh. Sorry I took it too personally.

I’m not. Thanks for cooking. The food tastes delicious.

I try to. It feels good to make others happy.

Yes, of course.

Inside Me

If I were quiet, y’all think something is wrong with me.

I laughed because I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY!!

I smile to hide my sadness underneath.

They waste their lives and have forgotten me. .

I thought about running away, since nobody notices me.

When I joke you take everything seriously, but when I'm serious you take it as a joke.

It is personal if you out someone’s embarrassing past in a joke.

Starving myself is what I know best.

I make everyone smile because I don't want everyone else to feel the unhappiness I feel.

No! I’m struggling, but it’s best no one knows.

Dear Grandma Sylvia,

Hello Grandma, I hope you’re doing well back home. I'm doing great here in Michigan. Since being accepted into the University of Michigan I’ve been studying Agriculture and Economics. Right now it’s summer vaca and I’m visiting the Grand Haven lighthouse. Since moving here I have become a more outgoing person. I found myself wanting to live and continue being the person I'm proud of being. I can be happy without pretending to be something I’m not. I can talk about my feelings instead of holding them back. I am happy where I am in life and I hope I can continue being happy. I love you and the family!

Love,

Alexia Haney

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